October Inspired

October seems to be a popular month. While it has a very different feeling than January, which often brings a feeling of freshness and newness, October seems to be inspiring people. I've heard radio talk about working out to get fit in preparation for the holidays. I've seen Instagram photo challenges to celebrate the month of October. I've seen blog posts about de-cluttering and refocusing. It just seems to be a popular month....

How am I feeling inspired this month? Well, thank you for asking! I, too, like my favorite radio personality Jayar, am feeling the daunting deliciousness that lies ahead with pumpkin baked goodies and Christmas cookies. So, I am continuing to push through more Insanity workouts than what is prescribed. It's very much a love/hate relationship I have with Shaun T. and his Insanity workouts!

I also am feeling motivated to read more. Over the last 40 days or so, I have gotten into a better habit of reading the Bible everyday -- which sustains me and fills me with the Truth I need to guide me through. But I've noticed that I tend to be more inclined to watch an episode of Gossip Girl or Grey's Anatomy than I am to pick up The Circle Maker, which I have been "trying to finish" for what seems like months now. That needs to change. I definitely enjoy relaxing and watching TV because it's mindless, I can just simply relax. But, I am not growing or learning as I veg out on the couch. With Shannon Ethridge, one of my favorite authors, coming out with a new book this month, I have decided to aim to read at least one book each month. At this point, it looks like a scary goal (since I've literally been working on reading The Circle Maker since August?) but I'm looking forward to all that these unread books have to offer!

And lastly, I feel motivated to pray through, to trust God, and to expect miracles! Tyler and I are in need of the last 19% of our financial funding, for our ministry. We're asking, hoping, trusting, and believing God to finish up our support, and get us moved up to New Jersey within the month of October so we can begin serving in full-time ministry up at Rutgers University. It'll likely be more of the same roller coaster we've been on during this process, since February, but we know that God provides!

How are you feeling inspired this October? Do you have any goals, dreams, or aspirations you can shoot for this month? Don't delay! 


"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." - Colossians 3:23-24 

Authentic Community

Many Christians are familiar with the phrase "authentic community." The first time I experienced authentic community was on a Summer Project with Campus Crusade for Christ (now Cru).

There were  23 peers of mine, living in one condominium building, eating meals together, working part-time jobs with one another, sharing fears, struggles, hopes, and prayers with each other, and studying God's Word together. It was one of the most satisfying and freeing summers of my life. I learned from the people I was surrounded with and loved them. Back in the real world (non Summer Project) authentic community is a bit harder to find.

There are many different facets of that authentic community that are vital.
Friendship and accountability. As Christians, we need to surround ourselves with other believers who can be an encouragement to us, come alongside us in prayer, and help us grow into more mature disciples of Christ. "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another..." - Hebrews 10:24-25 
Discipleship. We also need to have more mature believers pouring into us with wisdom and teaching. With this, we will have a model of mature Christianity to follow after and have a safe place to ask questions about the faith we may not ourselves know the answer to. "Be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned..." - Titus 2:7 We then also know what to teach others as we grow in our faith.
Transparency. It is important that we experience the "authentic" aspect of community. From my experience, I find that this happens when people are open, honest, and vulnerable with sin/struggles in their lives. "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed..." - James 5:17 Having this type of connection and bond with others, allows us to ask for help when seeking the Lord and aiming to walk in the light.
Christ-like attitude and humility. One of the more challenging aspects of this authentic community, is to "...have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind." - 1 Peter 3:8 Living closely with others takes a great deal of selflessness and love - which can only be obtained from the Lord.

This is where I may find some opposition.... I do not think we EVER grow out of our need for this. Sure, it may look different with changing seasons of life, but I absolutely see where God desires this for us, in His Word. As believers, young or old, leader or follower, I believe we all need to be experiencing authentic community through discipleship, accountability, and living life together.

Do you know this authentic community? How can you take a step to get closer to saturating yourself in community with believers?


"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will life ip his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Harmony

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight." - Romans 12:14-16

Boundaries

Early on in my walk with the Lord, I was introduced to the work of, now, some of my favorite authors.... Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. As a college student, I read Changes That Heal and Boundaries in Dating. Combined, these books gave me great insight on the topic of boundaries. I'd like to say that I learned all I can about boundaries and have successfully applied the principles to my life. But, it's like this specific lesson is on repeat for me.

Ok, so what is a boundary? Well, I'll share what Cloud and Townsend have to say about it....

Simply put, a boundary is a property line. Just as a physical fence marks out where your yard ends and your neighbor's begins, a personal boundary distinguishes what is your emotional or personal property, and what belongs to someone else. You can't see your own boundary. However, you can tell it is there when someone crosses it. When another person tries to control you, tries to get too close to you, or asks you to do something you don't think is right, you should feel some sense of protest. Your boundary has been crossed.

Boundaries serve two important functions. First, they define us. Boundaries show what we are and are not; what we agree and disagree with; what we love and hate. The second function of boundaries is that they protect us. Boundaries keep good things in, and bad things out. When we don't have clear limits, we can expose ourselves to unhealthy and destructive influences and people.

Lately, the topic of boundaries has been extremely prevalent in my life. It is hard and sometimes uncomfortable to set boundaries. But, if I don't keep the pattern of setting and maintaining healthy, appropriate boundaries with people, I will end up suffocating and suffering in many ways.

I need boundaries because....

• I want to grow as an adult! If others are constantly trying to do for me or even help me to the extent that I am not given an opportunity to make decisions for myself, I will be overly dependent on others. While yes, I absolutely 100% need authority in my life, I do not need to be controlled. Rather I need to be guided and led so that I can learn and grow.
• I am responsible for what is inside my boundaries. The more I allow people in and they begin messing around within my boundaries, the more chaotic things will become and it will be out of my control, although still my responsibility! To avoid the chaos, I want to invite healthy, safe people into my life who will help me while respecting my boundaries.
• I need to be my own person. With boundaries, I will be my own person, apart from others.
• Without appropriate boundaries, I am at risk of being controlled, manipulated, and even (emotionally) abused by others. 

As I continue on my journey of learning about and setting boundaries, I am amazed at how gracious our God is! Not once has He given up on me because I must revisit this same lesson over and over. He's so good, that He even brings new things to my attention to increase the depth of the lesson. I am grateful that God is patient with me, that I am created in His image, and that He is not yet finished with me!

Do you need to evaluate your boundaries? Are you letting others in at the expense of your emotional or Spiritual health? Who do you need to set boundaries with, in your life?


"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." - Philippians 1:6


[Excerpt from Boundaries in Dating (pg. 28-29) by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend]

Ten Ways to Love: Way #1

The other day, I saw Beckah Shae post the photo below on her Twitter and Instagram account. However, it wasn't until today, that I was inspired to write this list down to keep handy. I also wanted to look up all of the coordinating references with each "way to love" listed. 

Today, I got through just number one. I read Proverbs 18 and immediately was drawn into the depth of wisdom. Verse 1 reads, "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgement." As I pondered over this verse, I thought about how many people whom I know, who have not listened to those around them-- who care deeply for their well being. I was filled with concern with people who are making seemingly rash decisions based on their own desires, not what may be best, and ignoring wise counsel from those around them, or in authority over them. Without reading any further, God used that verse alone to remind me of the importance of accountability, authority, and community in each of our lives. Without it, we are bound to reap destruction. 

As I read further, it became clear why Proverbs 18 is the reference used for "way to love #1" ... 

LISTEN WITHOUT INTERRUPTING

"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion." - Proverbs 18:2

"A fools mouth is his ruin..." - Proverbs 18:7

"If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame." - Proverbs 18:13

These verses give more depth to listening without interrupting. How many of us are guilty of "listening" to someone while in all actuality, the entire time they are talking, we are formulating our response? 

From experience, I know how meaningful it can be when one listens intently, assessing what has been said, and then responding. My husband will tell you that often times, I do not share expecting a response or solution to a problem.... I usually just want to be heard. And interrupting would give me the impression that hearing me is not important. 

A helpful skill in listening without interrupting is active listening. One way that Tyler and I practice active listening and attempt to avoid miscommunication is after one of us shares something, the other person will respond with "I am hearing you say...." This allows for correction, while also forcing the listener to actively listen. Unfortunately, we are not perfect in this and miscommunicate! But, we do our best to listen to one another in a way that communicates love.

Who do you need to listen to more, while interrupting less?

Tank on Low?

Today, Tyler and I quizzed one another with the Love Language Profiles in Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.

Questions we often ask one another are, "how can I love you better?" or "how is your love tank?" For me, I sometimes find it difficult to articulate how my love tank can be filled more or how Tyler can do a better job of showing me love. So, I thought maybe insights from Gary Chapman would help me.

Well, to no surprise, my primary love language is gifts and Tyler's is physical touch. So, I skimmed through Chapter 8 to find some ideas on how to love Tyler more through his primary love language. Although I found some helpful ideas, what I realized is that loving through physical touch does not come as naturally to me as expressing love through gifts, or even acts of service. I have to choose to show Tyler love in the way he best receives it. This will certainly take effort on my part, but will it be worth it? Absolutely! And it will be fun! I hope to continue to brain storm ideas on how to better fill Tyler's love tank through his primary and secondary love languages.

Who do you have to choose to love? Are you showing them love how it comes most natural to you, or how they best receive it? Do others around you know how you best receive love?

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking..." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Proverbs 31

Many of you may know I absolutely LOVE Beckah Shae. I think she is talented beyond words and steps out of the ordinary to reach the world through music! She writes and sings, while her husband produces. I was first introduced to her music a few years ago when she played a show at a church in Tampa. After her album Destiny came out, I was absolutely sold. Not to mention, she has stuff like this on YouTube!

Ok, on a slightly different note.... Annually, Victoria's Secret does a fashion show that is airs on CBS. In the last year or two, I have seen more on Facebook and Twitter about Proverbs 31 during the show than ever before! How encouraging!! From that, a quote has become popular, "I'd rather be a Proverbs 31 woman than a Victoria's Secret model." I couldn't agree more. And when I stumbled across one of Beckah Shae's "Scripture Snacks" titled Woman, I was reminded of that quote.

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." - Proverbs 31:25, 26, 30

I hope you enjoy and are inspired to live a life as a Proverbs 31 woman... giving glory to God!

(Beckah Shae's Scripture Snack Volume 1 is available for purchase on iTunes)

Take the Initiative

As I've already shared, I don't always come across friendship all that easily. To help grow from a self-wallowing, pouting, pity party thrower into a socially developed person with flourishing friendships, I have decided to take the initiative! Taking the initiative is not always easy - what if your idea is shot down? what if people say no? These are my fears in being the one to take the initiative, but someone has to, right?!

But I don't just want to be the one to suggest a get together or invite someone to an event. I long for more than that. I desire meaningful friendship, community with people who love and care for one another. Unfortunately, all the initiation in the world doesn't promise cultivating that type of relationship. And since being out of college, I have found that authentic community is hard to come by. I want people to ask me deep, heart, "get-to-know-the-real-me" questions and I want to know people in the same way!

That's where I'm stuck. There is no formula to develop these friendships, no set of appropriate questions that lead to especially meaningful conversation... but oh how I wish there was! My generation seems to be stuck in the "this will do until something better comes along" mentality (hence the "maybe" button on Facebook invites!). Whatever happened to bloom where you're planted and seize the day? I don't see many people diving head first into relationships that will foster growth and community. Are we as a culture too guarded? Are we afraid of commitment? Is it our pride that leads us to build walls that don't allow people to see us for who we really are? What is the hold up? We, myself included, are missing out on the community we need -- the type of community that God designed for us! What is holding you back from being the one to take the initiative, to ask the hard questions, or maybe to answer the heart level questions? What is keeping you from knowing people, and being known?

Take the initiative, be real, love people.

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God..." - 1 John 4:7

Restoration

Life has caught up to me. I have been finding myself feeling busy, tired, and overwhelmed recently. One cure, has been coffee! I function throughout the day so much better when I have had a tall glass of iced coffee.... mmmm.... Another, has been relying on the Lord. When I do things -- whether it be a workout, a conversation, or housework -- out of my own strength, I reach a point of not having enough strength to continue any longer. But, when I depend on God for strength, He sustains me through more than I could ever hope or imagine to accomplish on my own!

Earlier this year, I shared about the letters I wrote to my daddy and to a former college roommate of mine. It had been a few months and I had not heard back from my former roommate (who we can call B). Well, a few weeks ago I ran into B at an event. We were civil, but I was not sure why we were acting as though everything was ok. I mean, yeah I had apologized for being selfish, made wrongful assumptions, and prideful, but after that letter of apology I never heard back. So, it just seemed peculiar that everything seemed normal. As we parted ways, we said, "we should get dinner sometime" which, often times translates into, "it was nice seeing you, and to be polite, let's act as though we'll get together in the future but know I have no intention of doing so." Well.........  about a week later, we did get dinner! Tyler and I got dinner with B and her mate =) It was a lovely evening over a lovely dinner. But that's not all.

After dinner, the four of us walked around for a bit. And by bit, I mean a couple of hours! B and I had an extremely healthy, heart level conversation. We both apologized, shared from our hearts, listened to one another, and were vulnerable. This, was not how things had always gone with B. It was a breath of fresh air to finally have her sharing with me and not just listening. We shared how much we value one another and our friendship. All in all, it is a great feeling to know that one of my dearest friends, from my college years, and I have bridged the gap and our friendship has been restored. I thank God for leading me to reach out to her with that letter. And, I thank Him for softening our hearts. We have both grown up so much from how we had left things...

There is no doubt in my mind that God is up to some exciting things.... my relationship with my daddy has been restored, my friendship with B is back on track... I can't wait to see how else God surprises me, blesses me for steps of faith and obedience I have taken, and continues to answer prayers that will bring Him glory!


"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us..." - Ephesians 3:20

Once Fatherless | Part 2

It has been over 9 years since my dad and I had a functional relationship. Last week, I woke up to a text message from him asking if I was available to get together for lunch. This was surprising on many levels. For one, I thought he was in Madison, Wisconsin for the summer. And then the obvious... it had been over a year since we'd gotten together! After responding that I would love to meet for lunch, I jumped out of bed to get ready and prepare my heart with prayer!

As I drove to Nature's Table for lunch, I prayed and worshiped with Hillsong's "Like an Avalanche" in the car. Then... I got lost, partially due to me forgetting to put my contact lenses in and not being able to read the street signs. Story of my life. I arrived about ten minutes late and walked up to the table where my dad was sitting. I quickly put together a salad at the salad bar and sat down. We began with small talk... the everyday conversation... he asked about our upcoming move to New Jersey, I asked him about work. Eventually, the conversation got deeper. He shared from his heart about how I had hurt him, and I shared from my heart about how my parents' divorce had affected me and how I have grown up and matured. Somewhere during that heart to heart, his eyes filled with tears, he rose and walked towards me. I stood up and we hugged one another. I said, "You know I love you." And he said, "I love you, too." As he sat down, wiping his eyes, he said, "I've always loved you." This is where I think I went into complete shock. I honestly don't remember the last time I heard my daddy say those three words. I can only thank God for softening his heart, helping me guard mine, and give me the strength to continue on the conversation with composure. It will take time to rebuild our relationship, but I am hopeful that we are now in that process. As we parted ways, he encouraged me to stay in touch.

I hope that this is the beginning of much desired, prayed for, and needed reconciliation with my daddy! However, I trust the Lord with it and will just continue to pray for my dad and our relationship. All in all, my Heavenly Father is my rock, foundation, and True Love.

"Your wounds I will heal, declares the LORD." - Jeremiah 30:17

Run and Hide

A friend once described to me his arrival to Florida, from DC. As he looked out the airplane window during the landing, he vividly remembers seeing all the palm trees and rays of sunshine! It was in that moment that he decided he would move to Florida.

Florida is known as the Sunshine State. Any Floridian can tell you when "Snow Bird" season is and that it is a fact that Florida is a place people not only visit, but retire to as well. This article published by Men's Health, rocked the Tampa Bay area -- my pastor mentioned it in church and it made radio talk. How could Tampa and St. Petersburg both be on the top of the saddest cities in America list? I mean, come on, it's the Sunshine State!

Here are my thoughts....
People everywhere face troubles that could drive them to extreme sadness and depression. Since Florida is often called the "melting pot" and is a retirement hot spot, I see how people would think residing in sunny Florida would bring them to a life of rest, peace... no problems. Unfortunately, wrong. Life's problems, issues, and troubles tend to follow us, regardless of our geographic location. So here is where I disagree with the "saddest cities" philosophy -- "sad people" can be found everywhere. And having spent my life thus far under the Florida sun, I know it isn't Tampa Bay that contributes to sadness.

People today attempt to run and hide from life, rather than face it head on.  Life can seem overwhelming. Problems can seem unsolvable. But we "..can do all things through him who strengthens..." us (Philippians 4:13). So, what are you running from? Where have you run to hide from life's problems? What are you afraid of? Let God walk you through it.

"Be strong and courageous and do it. Do not be dismayed, for the LORD God...is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you, until all the work...is finished." - 1 Chronicles 28:20

Boys or Men?

The other evening, I was watching Grey's Anatomy with my husband. In the tenth episode of the  third season, the chief of surgery says to one of his top surgeons, "I am tired of you men acting like boys!" In the two following episodes, there is a theme of fatherhood. This all got me thinking about the importance of men.

First, let me share that yes, I am a woman and I know I am a woman. I cannot accurately tell men what they should be doing or how to best do so. However, I can share, from experience, what the women in men's lives need and expect from them... and how damaging it can be if the men don't provide that.

Every woman has men in her life-- a husband, father, step-father, grandfather, brother, son, cousin, friends... And those men play important roles in the lives of women around them. When these men fail to provide safe and loving relationships with the women in their lives, or act like immature boys rather than responsible and courageous men, the women reap the consequences. Women are to be led, cherished, and loved by men -- this is a picture of God's love! From experience, I have had many damaging relationships with men, but I have also had some very special, healthy, and uplifting relationships with Godly men. Those positive relationships with men have given me a better picture of the love God has for me and has helped [begin to] mold me into the woman God designed me to be.

So here's my question:
Ladies- are the men in your life living up to the standards of manhood? are you settling for what the world says a man is?
Men- are you living a life of immaturity and passivity, or are you taking every opportunity you have to share with the women in your life just how precious they are? are you following God's lead in how to appropriately lead the women in your life?

Men and women need each other. God designed us that way. So men, stop acting like boys.

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." - Genesis 2:18

Love Like You Mean It

Love. Such a loaded word. In today's culture, we "love" so many things that I think the word has lost some of it's value. I remember as a school-aged kid writing I :heart: ____ (insert boys name) on my hand in colorful gel pen. That certainly wasn't love, the name changed regularly, but I was being fooled by the world at an early age about love.

The phrase "I love you" is something my husband says to me several times each day. And he sincerely means it! I remember the first time Tyler said those three words. We were indulging on cheesecake under the stars when he turned to me and expressed that he loved me. My response: "Are you sure?" Poor guy. He was sure! And as we're now into our second year of marriage, he continues to pursue, woo, and love me.

The Bible tells me in several places that I am loved by the Lord: "The LORD your God...will quiet you by his love." - Zephaniah 3:17, "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you." - John 15:9, "...the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." - Galatians 2:20, "We love because he first loved us." - 1 John 4:19 and in so many other passages! I first heard about the love of God when I was a five year old girl. My neighbor, who was six or seven years old at the time, told me that if I asked Jesus to live in my heart that I would live forever. It is because of God's unending love that he desires us to be with Him in perfect relationship, for all eternity!

Last night I had an exciting and emotional "ah-ha!" moment. Before last night, I could have written the above text and meant every single word. But after last night, those words have both meaning and depth. It hit me that I am passionately loved by both my God and my husband-- in spite of my imperfections, both inside and out. What an overwhelming thing to have hit you at once! I was crying uncontrollably; one because I have been married for almost a year and a half and just now am realizing that my husband actually loves me the way he says he does --no matter what I look like or how crazy I can be-- and two because even though my heart is full of sin and my body is wasting away, God loves me! "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." - Philippians 1:6 The Lord knows I am still imperfect, but with patience, He grows me all the while, loving me. Man oh man! What a blessed lil lady I am!!

There are not words to describe just how grateful I am that my husband's love teaches me about the Lord's love.


"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
 - Ephesians 5:25

Bridge the Gap

Over the last couple weeks, I have come to a place of developing a love for snail mail. I am basically hooked on mailing things to friends and family... anything from birthday cards to "just thinking about you" notes! There is just something extra special about getting something other than coupons or bills in the mail. This means that stamps are now something I [try to] keep on hand at all times. But besides birthday cards and just for fun notes, God has led me to send out a few other things in the mail to bridge the gap....

This last week I sent out two hand written letters, asking for forgiveness from people whom I have lost contact with -- one, was my dad and the other, a former roommate. I recently read in Matthew 5:24, "First be reconciled to your brother..." and in Matthew 6:14 "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." As I searched my heart, I realized that there were things I needed to seek their forgiveness in. This was not easy for me. Why? Because I am a sinner. A prideful, selfish, sinner. And for a long time I have focused on the wrong they have done to me and looked very little on the wrong I have done to them. In MY perfect world, I would be perfect and would be the forgiver, not the one in need of forgiveness. However, the world you and I live in is fallen, imperfect, and broken. As these letters reach both my dad and former roommate, I am praying that God will move in their hearts to forgive me and respond so that our relationships can be restored! But, if I never hear back from them, I know that I can stand before the Lord, confident that I did as He asked me to.

Is there anyone in your life that you need to seek forgiveness from or forgive? Do you need to take the initiative to bridge the gap that has grown between you and someone who has wronged you?

"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." -- Matthew 5:44

Fast Forward

On occasion, I find myself daydreaming about what my tomorrows will look like.... sometimes I fast forward my life and think about how my family will grow-- will Tyler and I have children? how many children will we have? will we be able to have children of our own? will we adopt? Other times I catch myself fantasizing about where I will live in the future-- will my house be a home? what flooring will we have? how many rooms will there be? what paint colors will we choose? And, quickly, I am brought back to the reality that it is today.

"This is the day is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24). Don't get me wrong, I don't think God wants me to think only about "today" -- after all, he created me and I am a planner! But, getting caught up in a future that is already planned out for me, as if I have some sort of control over it, is simply a waste of my thought time. Sure, I have desires, but daydreaming about them won't get me anywhere-- and after all, God knows the deepest desires of my heart! He knows that I'd love twins, a home with a front porch, and a luscious yard! But, the todays leading up to my tomorrows are purposeful. "So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12). I'm trusting God that if I set my mind on things above and allow my todays to prepare my heart for my tomorrows, that not only will he bless me, but that I will find satisfaction in each day! After all, I wouldn't want to miss the treasure that God has for me in my today....

"...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, what is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." -- Philippians 4:8

Wise Counsel

Too often, we make hasty decisions without consulting anyone. Think back on the last three major decisions you made.... Did you ask anyone for their wisdom, counsel, or prayer? Who did you ask? What was the outcome? Would the outcome be any different if you had sought out wise counsel, or counsel from someone different?

"Plans are established by counsel; by wise guidance..." - Proverbs 20:18
As Christians, we are instructed to seek out wise counsel! This often occurs out of a humble heart and a desire to earnestly seek God's will. Does this mean we allow others to make our decisions for us? Absolutely not! But as we are seeking God through His Word and prayer, we should also be talking to our mentors and fellow Christians about their thoughts. I know for me, talking through things with my mentors and other Christians is helpful because I am a verbal processor.... so even just talking out loud helps! And I find that when I think God is directing me in one way, and it is confirmed by several people, it is easier to rest in that and move forward as God is leading.

"Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." - Proverbs 11:14
"...in abundance of counselors there is victory." - Proverbs 24:6
An abundance... could sound overwhelming! However, this is important in order to avoid misleading. If what multiple, safe people are saying all line up... and more importantly, line up with what God's Word says, then you can be more certain of the counsel. If you currently only seek out wise counsel from one source, I would encourage you to check your heart and the healthiness of that relationship. Appropriate boundaries should be set in place to avoid codependency. I once heard Marian Jordan say, "If you fear someone other than the Lord, they have too high of a priority in your life." And Francis Chan once challenged a crowd I sat in with these questions, "Are you saying things your mentor told you to say? Or are you saying/doing things that are from your time with God?" Basically, listen to God first but seek out wise counsel from several healthy sources and apply the wisdom as it lines up with what God says.

"He who walks in the way that is blameless shall minister to me." - Psalm 101:6
I remember when I first read this verse. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Early in my walk with God, I would take everything and anyone any Christian said as "Truth." Even now, I am still learning the differences that Christians have views and beliefs on and sorting that out as I grow in the Lord. However, this verse is very important. When we seek out wise counsel, it should not be advice from a whole bunch of people who are not walking with God. Wise counsel should come from people who are walking closely with God, are seeking to do His will for their own lives, and want God's best for you! It is those people who should minister to you. Counsel from people who are not walking alongside God, is mere advice.


I hope this encourages you to seek out wise counsel, in conjunction with your own seeking God through His Word and prayer, the next time you make a [major] decision!

Once Fatherless

Ok, some quick family background:
I have a younger brother, James, who is about 3 years younger than me. Our parents were divorced in 1996. James and I have a tight bond because we were each other's only "constant." We would go back and forth from our mom's house to our dad's, but we were always together! Our parent's divorce affected us differently and we tend to handle our emotions very differently. Here's some more of my story....

April 2003, my life changed forever.
My daddy and I had always butt heads, for as far back as I can remember. But during the spring semester of my freshman year in high school, he decided to release court ruling for my visitations with him. It was hard for me to be "happy" with that, as I had been diagnosed with anxiety and depression earlier that school year. But it was a relief to feel as though I was gaining back control of my life. During my middle school and into my freshman year of high school, I got in a lot of trouble with my dad; I was constantly being grounded, punished, and having privileges revoked. Now, some may say I was rebellious, and that could be true, but deep down, I think what I was crying out for was love. I felt controlled and manipulated, not loved. As wise of a decision it may have been at the time for me and my family, for my dad to wave custody rights, it hurt. What I think I felt was, "you are not worth fighting for." Look at every fairytale.... girls want to have someone fight for them! And as a young teenager, I needed that man to be my daddy. [From here, there is obviously a lot more to the story, however, specific details are not important in this particular telling.]
It wasn't until February 2011 that my daddy and I saw each other, for the first time, in almost 8 years. He invited me to a college basketball game. My husband, Tyler, and I decided to go! I was nervous, excited, and relieved!!! After all, MY DADDY WANTED ME AGAIN!!! Our time at the game was great, I got to share about what all had happened in my life... I graduated from high school (minor miracle since at one point I was failing most of my classes), graduated from college, and had gotten married! And it was wonderful just to hear his voice and to see his face. A couple weeks after that game I received a message from my daddy that brought me to tears. What he said is not what I want to highlight (I do not think poorly of my daddy and do not want to leave you thinking poorly of him either!), but what I heard and felt. As I received his message, I felt unlovable and unworthy of love. For the past year, we have not gotten together or really been in touch. If I had it my way, that would not be the case. I miss my daddy, as any girl would!
But I want to go back to my feelings of being unlovable and unworthy of love....because thus far this story brings a lot of bad news and there is Good News! During my high school years, I met someone who taught me what love really is, and proved that I was indeed loved very deeply. He is my Heavenly Father. When my earthly father left me feeling abandoned and unloved, my Heavenly Father intervened to say, "I chose you" (John 15:16) and  "I love you" (John 15:12). This brought me such hope! God was not asking me to keep rules in order to be loved or approved- He loves me, period! But years after finding this True Love, I have to constantly battle the temptation to gain love and approval of others. The only One whose love I need is the Lord's.

I am so grateful that God met me right where I was, and used such a horrific experience (for any young girl) to woo me and show me true love. As for my daddy, I continue to hope and pray for a reconciled relationship someday as well as that he would find True Love as I have! And I also believe that God can use your sometimes unfortunate circumstances to woo you, and show you that He loves you dearly.

"For my father and mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in." - Psalm 27:10

All Things New

The calendar flips to January and many get excited to start something new, "put the past behind" them, begin new year's resolutions...

For most, that's easier said than done.

While the new year brings a fresh calendar, many new items from Christmas gifts, and maybe changes for some, it more so brings an opportunity for a change of mindset. And as I thought about change and newness, I was reminded that I am new in Christ.

Tyler and I recently moved back to Pinellas County (where we both grew up). Being in the familiar territory brings back many memories-- some God-honoring and some from the days I was living in sin. Each day since we've been back here, I have had to make a choice: to dwell on who I was or believe who I am. I have chosen to recall the Truth hidden in my heart and rest in Christ....

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. -Ezekiel 36:26

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. -2 Corinthians 5:17

As Christians, we are called to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. -Ephesians 4:24. 

To me this means that each day we are faced with a choice. We are to believe what God says about us- that we are new! We are to live by His Spirit that now dwells within us, walk in righteous ways that honor Him, and keep our eyes fixed on the holiness of Christ. No matter how much we look at the past, it does not change. But through the power of God, our future can be bright... it can be eternal. To be new, forgiven, and have a future in heaven? I don't care what holiday or year it is.... that is reason enough to celebrate! To being NEW!