Why should we forgive others? Well, for starters, we are called to.
"Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." - Matthew 18:21-22
"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." - Matthew 6:14
My Pastor has recently been going through the book of Philemon, focusing on forgiveness. Below is last Sunday's sermon he preached. It was quite good, which is why I thought to share it!
Pastor Ken Whitten: The Language of Forgiveness
One of the things he started the series with was asking the congregation at Idlewild, who comes to mind when we talk about forgiveness? So, that's what I want to ask you. Who comes to mind when the topic of forgiveness comes up? Is it an ex-husband/boyfriend, ex-wife/girlfriend, parent, roommate, sibling, co-worker? Everybody thinks of someone....which is a great starting place to begin the process of forgiveness.
The person who comes to my mind when I think about forgiveness is someone who caused me many years of deep pain. But when I think of that person, I no longer think, it'd be great if I could just reach the place of being able to forgive them. I now think, I hope to continue on this path of making the constant choice of walking in forgiveness. And man, how freeing! That person certainly did not need me to forgive them. But I needed to forgive them, for myself. It allowed me to move on from holding onto bitterness, disappointment, resentment, and anger. Now, when that person comes to mind, I am no longer filled with anxiety or even sadness, but I am excited that God has given me the ability to forgive, care for, and even love this person (again).
There are several wonderful resources available on the topic of forgiveness. Here are just a few...
Want to be Happy? Forgive Your Enemies -- by Donald Miller
Forgiveness and Restoration -- by Rose Sweet (Focus on the Family)
Changes That Heal -- by Dr. Henry Cloud
10 Things Forgiveness is Not -- by Pastor Mark Driscoll (Mars Hill Church)
Now, what's holding you back, from choosing to forgive that person who has wronged or hurt you? God has forgiven us for all that we have done to wrong Him. That's motivation enough for me to practice the choice of forgiveness. And I sure hope you feel encouraged and better equipped to move towards making the choice to forgive your person.
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32
Showing posts with label forgive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgive. Show all posts
Monday, August 13, 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Restoration
Life has caught up to me. I have been finding myself feeling busy, tired, and overwhelmed recently. One cure, has been coffee! I function throughout the day so much better when I have had a tall glass of iced coffee.... mmmm.... Another, has been relying on the Lord. When I do things -- whether it be a workout, a conversation, or housework -- out of my own strength, I reach a point of not having enough strength to continue any longer. But, when I depend on God for strength, He sustains me through more than I could ever hope or imagine to accomplish on my own!
Earlier this year, I shared about the letters I wrote to my daddy and to a former college roommate of mine. It had been a few months and I had not heard back from my former roommate (who we can call B). Well, a few weeks ago I ran into B at an event. We were civil, but I was not sure why we were acting as though everything was ok. I mean, yeah I had apologized for being selfish, made wrongful assumptions, and prideful, but after that letter of apology I never heard back. So, it just seemed peculiar that everything seemed normal. As we parted ways, we said, "we should get dinner sometime" which, often times translates into, "it was nice seeing you, and to be polite, let's act as though we'll get together in the future but know I have no intention of doing so." Well......... about a week later, we did get dinner! Tyler and I got dinner with B and her mate =) It was a lovely evening over a lovely dinner. But that's not all.
After dinner, the four of us walked around for a bit. And by bit, I mean a couple of hours! B and I had an extremely healthy, heart level conversation. We both apologized, shared from our hearts, listened to one another, and were vulnerable. This, was not how things had always gone with B. It was a breath of fresh air to finally have her sharing with me and not just listening. We shared how much we value one another and our friendship. All in all, it is a great feeling to know that one of my dearest friends, from my college years, and I have bridged the gap and our friendship has been restored. I thank God for leading me to reach out to her with that letter. And, I thank Him for softening our hearts. We have both grown up so much from how we had left things...
There is no doubt in my mind that God is up to some exciting things.... my relationship with my daddy has been restored, my friendship with B is back on track... I can't wait to see how else God surprises me, blesses me for steps of faith and obedience I have taken, and continues to answer prayers that will bring Him glory!
"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us..." - Ephesians 3:20
Earlier this year, I shared about the letters I wrote to my daddy and to a former college roommate of mine. It had been a few months and I had not heard back from my former roommate (who we can call B). Well, a few weeks ago I ran into B at an event. We were civil, but I was not sure why we were acting as though everything was ok. I mean, yeah I had apologized for being selfish, made wrongful assumptions, and prideful, but after that letter of apology I never heard back. So, it just seemed peculiar that everything seemed normal. As we parted ways, we said, "we should get dinner sometime" which, often times translates into, "it was nice seeing you, and to be polite, let's act as though we'll get together in the future but know I have no intention of doing so." Well......... about a week later, we did get dinner! Tyler and I got dinner with B and her mate =) It was a lovely evening over a lovely dinner. But that's not all.
After dinner, the four of us walked around for a bit. And by bit, I mean a couple of hours! B and I had an extremely healthy, heart level conversation. We both apologized, shared from our hearts, listened to one another, and were vulnerable. This, was not how things had always gone with B. It was a breath of fresh air to finally have her sharing with me and not just listening. We shared how much we value one another and our friendship. All in all, it is a great feeling to know that one of my dearest friends, from my college years, and I have bridged the gap and our friendship has been restored. I thank God for leading me to reach out to her with that letter. And, I thank Him for softening our hearts. We have both grown up so much from how we had left things...
There is no doubt in my mind that God is up to some exciting things.... my relationship with my daddy has been restored, my friendship with B is back on track... I can't wait to see how else God surprises me, blesses me for steps of faith and obedience I have taken, and continues to answer prayers that will bring Him glory!
"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us..." - Ephesians 3:20
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Once Fatherless | Part 2
It has been over 9 years since my dad and I had a functional relationship. Last week, I woke up to a text message from him asking if I was available to get together for lunch. This was surprising on many levels. For one, I thought he was in Madison, Wisconsin for the summer. And then the obvious... it had been over a year since we'd gotten together! After responding that I would love to meet for lunch, I jumped out of bed to get ready and prepare my heart with prayer!
As I drove to Nature's Table for lunch, I prayed and worshiped with Hillsong's "Like an Avalanche" in the car. Then... I got lost, partially due to me forgetting to put my contact lenses in and not being able to read the street signs. Story of my life. I arrived about ten minutes late and walked up to the table where my dad was sitting. I quickly put together a salad at the salad bar and sat down. We began with small talk... the everyday conversation... he asked about our upcoming move to New Jersey, I asked him about work. Eventually, the conversation got deeper. He shared from his heart about how I had hurt him, and I shared from my heart about how my parents' divorce had affected me and how I have grown up and matured. Somewhere during that heart to heart, his eyes filled with tears, he rose and walked towards me. I stood up and we hugged one another. I said, "You know I love you." And he said, "I love you, too." As he sat down, wiping his eyes, he said, "I've always loved you." This is where I think I went into complete shock. I honestly don't remember the last time I heard my daddy say those three words. I can only thank God for softening his heart, helping me guard mine, and give me the strength to continue on the conversation with composure. It will take time to rebuild our relationship, but I am hopeful that we are now in that process. As we parted ways, he encouraged me to stay in touch.
I hope that this is the beginning of much desired, prayed for, and needed reconciliation with my daddy! However, I trust the Lord with it and will just continue to pray for my dad and our relationship. All in all, my Heavenly Father is my rock, foundation, and True Love.
"Your wounds I will heal, declares the LORD." - Jeremiah 30:17
As I drove to Nature's Table for lunch, I prayed and worshiped with Hillsong's "Like an Avalanche" in the car. Then... I got lost, partially due to me forgetting to put my contact lenses in and not being able to read the street signs. Story of my life. I arrived about ten minutes late and walked up to the table where my dad was sitting. I quickly put together a salad at the salad bar and sat down. We began with small talk... the everyday conversation... he asked about our upcoming move to New Jersey, I asked him about work. Eventually, the conversation got deeper. He shared from his heart about how I had hurt him, and I shared from my heart about how my parents' divorce had affected me and how I have grown up and matured. Somewhere during that heart to heart, his eyes filled with tears, he rose and walked towards me. I stood up and we hugged one another. I said, "You know I love you." And he said, "I love you, too." As he sat down, wiping his eyes, he said, "I've always loved you." This is where I think I went into complete shock. I honestly don't remember the last time I heard my daddy say those three words. I can only thank God for softening his heart, helping me guard mine, and give me the strength to continue on the conversation with composure. It will take time to rebuild our relationship, but I am hopeful that we are now in that process. As we parted ways, he encouraged me to stay in touch.
I hope that this is the beginning of much desired, prayed for, and needed reconciliation with my daddy! However, I trust the Lord with it and will just continue to pray for my dad and our relationship. All in all, my Heavenly Father is my rock, foundation, and True Love.
"Your wounds I will heal, declares the LORD." - Jeremiah 30:17
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Bridge the Gap
Over the last couple weeks, I have come to a place of developing a love for snail mail. I am basically hooked on mailing things to friends and family... anything from birthday cards to "just thinking about you" notes! There is just something extra special about getting something other than coupons or bills in the mail. This means that stamps are now something I [try to] keep on hand at all times. But besides birthday cards and just for fun notes, God has led me to send out a few other things in the mail to bridge the gap....
This last week I sent out two hand written letters, asking for forgiveness from people whom I have lost contact with -- one, was my dad and the other, a former roommate. I recently read in Matthew 5:24, "First be reconciled to your brother..." and in Matthew 6:14 "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." As I searched my heart, I realized that there were things I needed to seek their forgiveness in. This was not easy for me. Why? Because I am a sinner. A prideful, selfish, sinner. And for a long time I have focused on the wrong they have done to me and looked very little on the wrong I have done to them. In MY perfect world, I would be perfect and would be the forgiver, not the one in need of forgiveness. However, the world you and I live in is fallen, imperfect, and broken. As these letters reach both my dad and former roommate, I am praying that God will move in their hearts to forgive me and respond so that our relationships can be restored! But, if I never hear back from them, I know that I can stand before the Lord, confident that I did as He asked me to.
Is there anyone in your life that you need to seek forgiveness from or forgive? Do you need to take the initiative to bridge the gap that has grown between you and someone who has wronged you?
"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." -- Matthew 5:44
This last week I sent out two hand written letters, asking for forgiveness from people whom I have lost contact with -- one, was my dad and the other, a former roommate. I recently read in Matthew 5:24, "First be reconciled to your brother..." and in Matthew 6:14 "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." As I searched my heart, I realized that there were things I needed to seek their forgiveness in. This was not easy for me. Why? Because I am a sinner. A prideful, selfish, sinner. And for a long time I have focused on the wrong they have done to me and looked very little on the wrong I have done to them. In MY perfect world, I would be perfect and would be the forgiver, not the one in need of forgiveness. However, the world you and I live in is fallen, imperfect, and broken. As these letters reach both my dad and former roommate, I am praying that God will move in their hearts to forgive me and respond so that our relationships can be restored! But, if I never hear back from them, I know that I can stand before the Lord, confident that I did as He asked me to.
Is there anyone in your life that you need to seek forgiveness from or forgive? Do you need to take the initiative to bridge the gap that has grown between you and someone who has wronged you?
"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." -- Matthew 5:44
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Once Fatherless
Ok, some quick family background:
I have a younger brother, James, who is about 3 years younger than me. Our parents were divorced in 1996. James and I have a tight bond because we were each other's only "constant." We would go back and forth from our mom's house to our dad's, but we were always together! Our parent's divorce affected us differently and we tend to handle our emotions very differently. Here's some more of my story....
April 2003, my life changed forever.
My daddy and I had always butt heads, for as far back as I can remember. But during the spring semester of my freshman year in high school, he decided to release court ruling for my visitations with him. It was hard for me to be "happy" with that, as I had been diagnosed with anxiety and depression earlier that school year. But it was a relief to feel as though I was gaining back control of my life. During my middle school and into my freshman year of high school, I got in a lot of trouble with my dad; I was constantly being grounded, punished, and having privileges revoked. Now, some may say I was rebellious, and that could be true, but deep down, I think what I was crying out for was love. I felt controlled and manipulated, not loved. As wise of a decision it may have been at the time for me and my family, for my dad to wave custody rights, it hurt. What I think I felt was, "you are not worth fighting for." Look at every fairytale.... girls want to have someone fight for them! And as a young teenager, I needed that man to be my daddy. [From here, there is obviously a lot more to the story, however, specific details are not important in this particular telling.]
It wasn't until February 2011 that my daddy and I saw each other, for the first time, in almost 8 years. He invited me to a college basketball game. My husband, Tyler, and I decided to go! I was nervous, excited, and relieved!!! After all, MY DADDY WANTED ME AGAIN!!! Our time at the game was great, I got to share about what all had happened in my life... I graduated from high school (minor miracle since at one point I was failing most of my classes), graduated from college, and had gotten married! And it was wonderful just to hear his voice and to see his face. A couple weeks after that game I received a message from my daddy that brought me to tears. What he said is not what I want to highlight (I do not think poorly of my daddy and do not want to leave you thinking poorly of him either!), but what I heard and felt. As I received his message, I felt unlovable and unworthy of love. For the past year, we have not gotten together or really been in touch. If I had it my way, that would not be the case. I miss my daddy, as any girl would!
But I want to go back to my feelings of being unlovable and unworthy of love....because thus far this story brings a lot of bad news and there is Good News! During my high school years, I met someone who taught me what love really is, and proved that I was indeed loved very deeply. He is my Heavenly Father. When my earthly father left me feeling abandoned and unloved, my Heavenly Father intervened to say, "I chose you" (John 15:16) and "I love you" (John 15:12). This brought me such hope! God was not asking me to keep rules in order to be loved or approved- He loves me, period! But years after finding this True Love, I have to constantly battle the temptation to gain love and approval of others. The only One whose love I need is the Lord's.
I am so grateful that God met me right where I was, and used such a horrific experience (for any young girl) to woo me and show me true love. As for my daddy, I continue to hope and pray for a reconciled relationship someday as well as that he would find True Love as I have! And I also believe that God can use your sometimes unfortunate circumstances to woo you, and show you that He loves you dearly.
"For my father and mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in." - Psalm 27:10
I have a younger brother, James, who is about 3 years younger than me. Our parents were divorced in 1996. James and I have a tight bond because we were each other's only "constant." We would go back and forth from our mom's house to our dad's, but we were always together! Our parent's divorce affected us differently and we tend to handle our emotions very differently. Here's some more of my story....
April 2003, my life changed forever.
My daddy and I had always butt heads, for as far back as I can remember. But during the spring semester of my freshman year in high school, he decided to release court ruling for my visitations with him. It was hard for me to be "happy" with that, as I had been diagnosed with anxiety and depression earlier that school year. But it was a relief to feel as though I was gaining back control of my life. During my middle school and into my freshman year of high school, I got in a lot of trouble with my dad; I was constantly being grounded, punished, and having privileges revoked. Now, some may say I was rebellious, and that could be true, but deep down, I think what I was crying out for was love. I felt controlled and manipulated, not loved. As wise of a decision it may have been at the time for me and my family, for my dad to wave custody rights, it hurt. What I think I felt was, "you are not worth fighting for." Look at every fairytale.... girls want to have someone fight for them! And as a young teenager, I needed that man to be my daddy. [From here, there is obviously a lot more to the story, however, specific details are not important in this particular telling.]
It wasn't until February 2011 that my daddy and I saw each other, for the first time, in almost 8 years. He invited me to a college basketball game. My husband, Tyler, and I decided to go! I was nervous, excited, and relieved!!! After all, MY DADDY WANTED ME AGAIN!!! Our time at the game was great, I got to share about what all had happened in my life... I graduated from high school (minor miracle since at one point I was failing most of my classes), graduated from college, and had gotten married! And it was wonderful just to hear his voice and to see his face. A couple weeks after that game I received a message from my daddy that brought me to tears. What he said is not what I want to highlight (I do not think poorly of my daddy and do not want to leave you thinking poorly of him either!), but what I heard and felt. As I received his message, I felt unlovable and unworthy of love. For the past year, we have not gotten together or really been in touch. If I had it my way, that would not be the case. I miss my daddy, as any girl would!
But I want to go back to my feelings of being unlovable and unworthy of love....because thus far this story brings a lot of bad news and there is Good News! During my high school years, I met someone who taught me what love really is, and proved that I was indeed loved very deeply. He is my Heavenly Father. When my earthly father left me feeling abandoned and unloved, my Heavenly Father intervened to say, "I chose you" (John 15:16) and "I love you" (John 15:12). This brought me such hope! God was not asking me to keep rules in order to be loved or approved- He loves me, period! But years after finding this True Love, I have to constantly battle the temptation to gain love and approval of others. The only One whose love I need is the Lord's.
I am so grateful that God met me right where I was, and used such a horrific experience (for any young girl) to woo me and show me true love. As for my daddy, I continue to hope and pray for a reconciled relationship someday as well as that he would find True Love as I have! And I also believe that God can use your sometimes unfortunate circumstances to woo you, and show you that He loves you dearly.
"For my father and mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in." - Psalm 27:10
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