October Inspired

October seems to be a popular month. While it has a very different feeling than January, which often brings a feeling of freshness and newness, October seems to be inspiring people. I've heard radio talk about working out to get fit in preparation for the holidays. I've seen Instagram photo challenges to celebrate the month of October. I've seen blog posts about de-cluttering and refocusing. It just seems to be a popular month....

How am I feeling inspired this month? Well, thank you for asking! I, too, like my favorite radio personality Jayar, am feeling the daunting deliciousness that lies ahead with pumpkin baked goodies and Christmas cookies. So, I am continuing to push through more Insanity workouts than what is prescribed. It's very much a love/hate relationship I have with Shaun T. and his Insanity workouts!

I also am feeling motivated to read more. Over the last 40 days or so, I have gotten into a better habit of reading the Bible everyday -- which sustains me and fills me with the Truth I need to guide me through. But I've noticed that I tend to be more inclined to watch an episode of Gossip Girl or Grey's Anatomy than I am to pick up The Circle Maker, which I have been "trying to finish" for what seems like months now. That needs to change. I definitely enjoy relaxing and watching TV because it's mindless, I can just simply relax. But, I am not growing or learning as I veg out on the couch. With Shannon Ethridge, one of my favorite authors, coming out with a new book this month, I have decided to aim to read at least one book each month. At this point, it looks like a scary goal (since I've literally been working on reading The Circle Maker since August?) but I'm looking forward to all that these unread books have to offer!

And lastly, I feel motivated to pray through, to trust God, and to expect miracles! Tyler and I are in need of the last 19% of our financial funding, for our ministry. We're asking, hoping, trusting, and believing God to finish up our support, and get us moved up to New Jersey within the month of October so we can begin serving in full-time ministry up at Rutgers University. It'll likely be more of the same roller coaster we've been on during this process, since February, but we know that God provides!

How are you feeling inspired this October? Do you have any goals, dreams, or aspirations you can shoot for this month? Don't delay! 


"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." - Colossians 3:23-24 

Happy, Holy, or Both?

This past Sunday, my pastor preached on World View vs. Word View. It was a very well spoken message! There were several points that jumped out at me. One was the world view of "hedonism" which is "pleasure is god." This jumped out at me because I often run into this world view today, especially on the college campus!

I often hear people say, "God wants me to be happy. He wouldn't have put this [person, situation, etc.] in my life if that wasn't what He wanted for me!" Well, how can you be so sure? Our enemy, Satan, disguises himself as an angel of light. So, what is tempting us looks shiny and "right" but is it really? Stop asking yourself, "will it work?" and ask yourself, "is this right?" because there is a big difference! "and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord." 
- Ephesians 5:10

Another common argument is, "I'll just do this now, and get back on track later. I'm not ready now." or "This is the time of my life I want to have fun and live it up! God will be there when I'm done." The temptation of sin is so heavy that holiness is no longer the focus, but pleasure is. "You’re addicted to thrills? What an empty life! The pursuit of pleasure is never satisfied." - Proverbs 21:17 Beckah Shae hits on this point in her song Supernova, "We all know what it's like to live the nightlife, mixin' wrong with right leads to nothing but a dead life." God will indeed be there when your time of sowing wild oats is over, but your consequences will be very present. We don't think about the possibility of falling into the wrong crowd, finding ourselves so severely under the influence that we don't remember important details, or being lured into seemingly romantic yet promiscuous situations that could end with disease, a baby or simply a broken heart. All of those things come with their own set of consequences that may last an entire lifetime. Is it worth "living it up" now to pay for it all later? "Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life." 
- Galatians 6:7-8

Jesus teaches us that there's nothing wrong with happiness, but happiness can't be the end goal. "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 5:10 That world "blessed" = happy. Persecuted people don't feel good, but they do it for righteousness' sake. Happiness is always a byproduct of living out the purpose that God has called you to live. They're happy because they are holy. And that is what God wants for all of us, above all else, holiness! The feeling of happiness is temporary, but the joy of the Lord lasts forever. And when you are walking in righteousness with integrity, that joy will be overflowing and much more meaningful than any moment of happiness the world can offer.


"By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin." 
- Hebrews 11:24-25

Ten Ways to Love: Way #1

The other day, I saw Beckah Shae post the photo below on her Twitter and Instagram account. However, it wasn't until today, that I was inspired to write this list down to keep handy. I also wanted to look up all of the coordinating references with each "way to love" listed. 

Today, I got through just number one. I read Proverbs 18 and immediately was drawn into the depth of wisdom. Verse 1 reads, "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgement." As I pondered over this verse, I thought about how many people whom I know, who have not listened to those around them-- who care deeply for their well being. I was filled with concern with people who are making seemingly rash decisions based on their own desires, not what may be best, and ignoring wise counsel from those around them, or in authority over them. Without reading any further, God used that verse alone to remind me of the importance of accountability, authority, and community in each of our lives. Without it, we are bound to reap destruction. 

As I read further, it became clear why Proverbs 18 is the reference used for "way to love #1" ... 

LISTEN WITHOUT INTERRUPTING

"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion." - Proverbs 18:2

"A fools mouth is his ruin..." - Proverbs 18:7

"If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame." - Proverbs 18:13

These verses give more depth to listening without interrupting. How many of us are guilty of "listening" to someone while in all actuality, the entire time they are talking, we are formulating our response? 

From experience, I know how meaningful it can be when one listens intently, assessing what has been said, and then responding. My husband will tell you that often times, I do not share expecting a response or solution to a problem.... I usually just want to be heard. And interrupting would give me the impression that hearing me is not important. 

A helpful skill in listening without interrupting is active listening. One way that Tyler and I practice active listening and attempt to avoid miscommunication is after one of us shares something, the other person will respond with "I am hearing you say...." This allows for correction, while also forcing the listener to actively listen. Unfortunately, we are not perfect in this and miscommunicate! But, we do our best to listen to one another in a way that communicates love.

Who do you need to listen to more, while interrupting less?

Forgiveness

Why should we forgive others? Well, for starters, we are called to.

"Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." - Matthew 18:21-22

"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." - Matthew 6:14

My Pastor has recently been going through the book of Philemon, focusing on forgiveness. Below is last Sunday's sermon he preached. It was quite good, which is why I thought to share it!

Pastor Ken Whitten: The Language of Forgiveness

One of the things he started the series with was asking the congregation at Idlewild, who comes to mind when we talk about forgiveness? So, that's what I want to ask you. Who comes to mind when the topic of forgiveness comes up? Is it an ex-husband/boyfriend, ex-wife/girlfriend, parent, roommate, sibling, co-worker? Everybody thinks of someone....which is a great starting place to begin the process of forgiveness.

The person who comes to my mind when I think about forgiveness is someone who caused me many years of deep pain. But when I think of that person, I no longer think, it'd be great if I could just reach the place of being able to forgive them. I now think, I hope to continue on this path of making the constant choice of walking in forgiveness. And man, how freeing! That person certainly did not need me to forgive them. But I needed to forgive them, for myself. It allowed me to move on from holding onto bitterness, disappointment, resentment, and anger. Now, when that person comes to mind, I am no longer filled with anxiety or even sadness, but I am excited that God has given me the ability to forgive, care for, and even love this person (again).

There are several wonderful resources available on the topic of forgiveness. Here are just a few...

Want to be Happy? Forgive Your Enemies -- by Donald Miller

Forgiveness and Restoration -- by Rose Sweet (Focus on the Family)

Changes That Heal -- by Dr. Henry Cloud

10 Things Forgiveness is Not -- by Pastor Mark Driscoll (Mars Hill Church)


Now, what's holding you back, from choosing to forgive that person who has wronged or hurt you? God has forgiven us for all that we have done to wrong Him. That's motivation enough for me to practice the choice of forgiveness. And I sure hope you feel encouraged and better equipped to move towards making the choice to forgive your person.


"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32

Provider vs. Provision

Over the past six months, I have been seeking God as my Provider, as Jehovah Jireh. Or so I thought.

Friday evening, Tyler was in a car accident in a pretty rough neighborhood near our home. It was a drama filled hit and run accident. Thank God, he is just fine! Our car however, looks a little more beat up....

It was about this time last year that we were in the market for a new car. Why? Because in May of 2011, Tyler's SUV was stolen and stripped while we were out of town. 

We had no idea how we were going to replace it, since we did not have comprehensive insurance coverage on the vehicle. A junk yard bought the SUV for the scrap metal and parts, for just over $400. And up to this point, we had not been saving for a car-- we had 2 cars that were doing just fine. So, one car down and no help from insurance. What an unpleasant surprise! So, we prayed and asked God to give us what we needed with the upcoming school year, and us needing to be in two different places (one car didn't seem do-able). We invited others to pray for us as well. We did not ask anyone for financial assistance with the matter. 

As people began to respond, not just with prayer, but with financial assistance, we couldn't help but give God all the praise! He was providing us the money we needed to buy a used car! In less than 3 months, God had brought in enough for us to buy a 2007 Hyundai Elantra -- and what a beauty!!

I was certain that God was receiving my gratitude and praise for providing us with this car. Until Friday night. It was a bizarre realization... but I was deeply convicted. I don't put all my trust in the Provider, but rather what He provides. And what He provides, is His -- He can take it away just as quick as He gave it! Well, that hurt to come to terms with, but also very freeing.

Now, in the season of raising financial support alongside Tyler, as we prepare to move to New Jersey for our first assignment in full-time ministry together, I can seek to not put my hope in the finances God provides, but in who He is as Jehovah Jireh, my Provider!

"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;  may the name of the Lord be praised.” - Job 1:21

S.P.E.C.I.A.L. Insanity

Recently, my husband and I have begun the Insanity workout (thanks to a friend who gave it to us!). Let me say, it is indeed insane. I have cried most days during the workout and struggle to make it through without multiple breaks - not to mention I'm starving all the time! It is HARD -- even my former college football player of a husband will tell you it's hard. (I'll do my best to keep you posted with our results!)

Most days, I compare in my mind my Insanity workout to the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. at the Ultimate Training Camp. I think to myself, this is the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. at home for non-athletes! The event known as the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. (Spiritual Principles + Exhaustion = Confidence In All Mighty Lord) takes place each summer at Athletes in Action's Ultimate Training Camp (UTC) out in Fort Collins, Colorado. UTC provides an opportunity for collegiate athletes to experience the Gospel through the language of sport.

During the summer of 2011, I had the chance to spend a few weeks helping staff UTC.... what an experience! I witnessed student-athletes working their tails off, pushing themselves beyond their physical limits, and trusting God to be their strength. When I think back to that, remember those who aimed to finish strong, and rest in God's grace while relying on His strength, I am able to not only complete my workout, but use it as a time to worship the Lord! We are called to honor the Lord with our bodies, and love him with all of our strength.... no better way for me to do that right now than through disciplining my body through the Insanity workout! It's near impossible for me, so I depend on the Lord! What a special opportunity.... to workout, worship, and love the Lord with my strength!

--How can you best love God with all your heart, soul, and strength?

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your strength." - Deuteronomy 6:5

"I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave..." - 1 Corinthians 9:27

Olympics: More than Sport

This summer, London will host the 2012 Olympic Games. In about sixteen days, the opening ceremonies will begin and make way for the competition of thirty-six sports!

When I think of the Olympics, I think of highly competitive sport, athletes with pure determination, and a world stage that brings honor to many countries. But, this video shows that there is indeed so much more to it than that. As the "Road to London" becomes more narrow, I wanted to share a video that is both inspiring and moving. Hope you enjoy!

Struggle and Triumph

"Do you know that in a race all runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable." - 1 Corinthians 9:24-26

Proverbs 31

Many of you may know I absolutely LOVE Beckah Shae. I think she is talented beyond words and steps out of the ordinary to reach the world through music! She writes and sings, while her husband produces. I was first introduced to her music a few years ago when she played a show at a church in Tampa. After her album Destiny came out, I was absolutely sold. Not to mention, she has stuff like this on YouTube!

Ok, on a slightly different note.... Annually, Victoria's Secret does a fashion show that is airs on CBS. In the last year or two, I have seen more on Facebook and Twitter about Proverbs 31 during the show than ever before! How encouraging!! From that, a quote has become popular, "I'd rather be a Proverbs 31 woman than a Victoria's Secret model." I couldn't agree more. And when I stumbled across one of Beckah Shae's "Scripture Snacks" titled Woman, I was reminded of that quote.

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." - Proverbs 31:25, 26, 30

I hope you enjoy and are inspired to live a life as a Proverbs 31 woman... giving glory to God!

(Beckah Shae's Scripture Snack Volume 1 is available for purchase on iTunes)

Take the Initiative

As I've already shared, I don't always come across friendship all that easily. To help grow from a self-wallowing, pouting, pity party thrower into a socially developed person with flourishing friendships, I have decided to take the initiative! Taking the initiative is not always easy - what if your idea is shot down? what if people say no? These are my fears in being the one to take the initiative, but someone has to, right?!

But I don't just want to be the one to suggest a get together or invite someone to an event. I long for more than that. I desire meaningful friendship, community with people who love and care for one another. Unfortunately, all the initiation in the world doesn't promise cultivating that type of relationship. And since being out of college, I have found that authentic community is hard to come by. I want people to ask me deep, heart, "get-to-know-the-real-me" questions and I want to know people in the same way!

That's where I'm stuck. There is no formula to develop these friendships, no set of appropriate questions that lead to especially meaningful conversation... but oh how I wish there was! My generation seems to be stuck in the "this will do until something better comes along" mentality (hence the "maybe" button on Facebook invites!). Whatever happened to bloom where you're planted and seize the day? I don't see many people diving head first into relationships that will foster growth and community. Are we as a culture too guarded? Are we afraid of commitment? Is it our pride that leads us to build walls that don't allow people to see us for who we really are? What is the hold up? We, myself included, are missing out on the community we need -- the type of community that God designed for us! What is holding you back from being the one to take the initiative, to ask the hard questions, or maybe to answer the heart level questions? What is keeping you from knowing people, and being known?

Take the initiative, be real, love people.

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God..." - 1 John 4:7

Permissible vs. Beneficial

In the last little while, I have noticed an increase of Christian's who are in a relationship with the Lord, partaking in things that are more permissible than beneficial. I think due to my past/life before Christ, I am extra sensitive to these types of things -- excessive drinking, bar hopping, foul language, immodest dress, inappropriate relationships, etc. However, I don't think I am totally off base here.

How are these things justified? Yes, Jesus ate with the sinners. That's one fair angle. But my angle would be... the light of Christ needs to shine brightly through all of us who are Christians. The light surely will shine brightest in a dark place. But if the dark places are your most frequent places, where is growth happening? where are you being fed? when does the light recharge?

I am absolutely, 100% about reaching people for Christ. And spending time talking with people in bars, that is certainly one way to reach lost people. And no, I am not saying that is a wrong way. I think that is how it all starts for a lot of people, anyway. But when bar hopping, excessive drinking, etc. are the things that we as Christians do for fun, we are dimming the light of Christ and no longer focusing on reaching the lost but more on having a good time. I am all about having a good time. But sadly, many Christians in our society today would call me "boring" because I'd rather play a board game with friends than go grab a 2-for-1 special during happy hour.

This may totally be opening up a can of worms, but it is something that has been heavy on my heart for a long time now. I want to clarify again, I am not against drinking, but it is such a gray area that I think it needs to be done with heavy discernment, sound judgement, and proper motives.

My thoughts/advice and what I try to ask myself before entering into a "gray" area type situation-- Be aware of who is watching you. Seek to be above reproach. Be focused on the cross, not yourself. Aim to please God, not people. What is permissible may not be beneficial. And bottom line, be more concerned with spreading the name and love of Christ than having a "good time."


"I have the right to do anything," you say--but not everything is beneficial." - 1 Corinthians 6:12

Restoration

Life has caught up to me. I have been finding myself feeling busy, tired, and overwhelmed recently. One cure, has been coffee! I function throughout the day so much better when I have had a tall glass of iced coffee.... mmmm.... Another, has been relying on the Lord. When I do things -- whether it be a workout, a conversation, or housework -- out of my own strength, I reach a point of not having enough strength to continue any longer. But, when I depend on God for strength, He sustains me through more than I could ever hope or imagine to accomplish on my own!

Earlier this year, I shared about the letters I wrote to my daddy and to a former college roommate of mine. It had been a few months and I had not heard back from my former roommate (who we can call B). Well, a few weeks ago I ran into B at an event. We were civil, but I was not sure why we were acting as though everything was ok. I mean, yeah I had apologized for being selfish, made wrongful assumptions, and prideful, but after that letter of apology I never heard back. So, it just seemed peculiar that everything seemed normal. As we parted ways, we said, "we should get dinner sometime" which, often times translates into, "it was nice seeing you, and to be polite, let's act as though we'll get together in the future but know I have no intention of doing so." Well.........  about a week later, we did get dinner! Tyler and I got dinner with B and her mate =) It was a lovely evening over a lovely dinner. But that's not all.

After dinner, the four of us walked around for a bit. And by bit, I mean a couple of hours! B and I had an extremely healthy, heart level conversation. We both apologized, shared from our hearts, listened to one another, and were vulnerable. This, was not how things had always gone with B. It was a breath of fresh air to finally have her sharing with me and not just listening. We shared how much we value one another and our friendship. All in all, it is a great feeling to know that one of my dearest friends, from my college years, and I have bridged the gap and our friendship has been restored. I thank God for leading me to reach out to her with that letter. And, I thank Him for softening our hearts. We have both grown up so much from how we had left things...

There is no doubt in my mind that God is up to some exciting things.... my relationship with my daddy has been restored, my friendship with B is back on track... I can't wait to see how else God surprises me, blesses me for steps of faith and obedience I have taken, and continues to answer prayers that will bring Him glory!


"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us..." - Ephesians 3:20

Once Fatherless | Part 2

It has been over 9 years since my dad and I had a functional relationship. Last week, I woke up to a text message from him asking if I was available to get together for lunch. This was surprising on many levels. For one, I thought he was in Madison, Wisconsin for the summer. And then the obvious... it had been over a year since we'd gotten together! After responding that I would love to meet for lunch, I jumped out of bed to get ready and prepare my heart with prayer!

As I drove to Nature's Table for lunch, I prayed and worshiped with Hillsong's "Like an Avalanche" in the car. Then... I got lost, partially due to me forgetting to put my contact lenses in and not being able to read the street signs. Story of my life. I arrived about ten minutes late and walked up to the table where my dad was sitting. I quickly put together a salad at the salad bar and sat down. We began with small talk... the everyday conversation... he asked about our upcoming move to New Jersey, I asked him about work. Eventually, the conversation got deeper. He shared from his heart about how I had hurt him, and I shared from my heart about how my parents' divorce had affected me and how I have grown up and matured. Somewhere during that heart to heart, his eyes filled with tears, he rose and walked towards me. I stood up and we hugged one another. I said, "You know I love you." And he said, "I love you, too." As he sat down, wiping his eyes, he said, "I've always loved you." This is where I think I went into complete shock. I honestly don't remember the last time I heard my daddy say those three words. I can only thank God for softening his heart, helping me guard mine, and give me the strength to continue on the conversation with composure. It will take time to rebuild our relationship, but I am hopeful that we are now in that process. As we parted ways, he encouraged me to stay in touch.

I hope that this is the beginning of much desired, prayed for, and needed reconciliation with my daddy! However, I trust the Lord with it and will just continue to pray for my dad and our relationship. All in all, my Heavenly Father is my rock, foundation, and True Love.

"Your wounds I will heal, declares the LORD." - Jeremiah 30:17

Run and Hide

A friend once described to me his arrival to Florida, from DC. As he looked out the airplane window during the landing, he vividly remembers seeing all the palm trees and rays of sunshine! It was in that moment that he decided he would move to Florida.

Florida is known as the Sunshine State. Any Floridian can tell you when "Snow Bird" season is and that it is a fact that Florida is a place people not only visit, but retire to as well. This article published by Men's Health, rocked the Tampa Bay area -- my pastor mentioned it in church and it made radio talk. How could Tampa and St. Petersburg both be on the top of the saddest cities in America list? I mean, come on, it's the Sunshine State!

Here are my thoughts....
People everywhere face troubles that could drive them to extreme sadness and depression. Since Florida is often called the "melting pot" and is a retirement hot spot, I see how people would think residing in sunny Florida would bring them to a life of rest, peace... no problems. Unfortunately, wrong. Life's problems, issues, and troubles tend to follow us, regardless of our geographic location. So here is where I disagree with the "saddest cities" philosophy -- "sad people" can be found everywhere. And having spent my life thus far under the Florida sun, I know it isn't Tampa Bay that contributes to sadness.

People today attempt to run and hide from life, rather than face it head on.  Life can seem overwhelming. Problems can seem unsolvable. But we "..can do all things through him who strengthens..." us (Philippians 4:13). So, what are you running from? Where have you run to hide from life's problems? What are you afraid of? Let God walk you through it.

"Be strong and courageous and do it. Do not be dismayed, for the LORD God...is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you, until all the work...is finished." - 1 Chronicles 28:20

Boys or Men?

The other evening, I was watching Grey's Anatomy with my husband. In the tenth episode of the  third season, the chief of surgery says to one of his top surgeons, "I am tired of you men acting like boys!" In the two following episodes, there is a theme of fatherhood. This all got me thinking about the importance of men.

First, let me share that yes, I am a woman and I know I am a woman. I cannot accurately tell men what they should be doing or how to best do so. However, I can share, from experience, what the women in men's lives need and expect from them... and how damaging it can be if the men don't provide that.

Every woman has men in her life-- a husband, father, step-father, grandfather, brother, son, cousin, friends... And those men play important roles in the lives of women around them. When these men fail to provide safe and loving relationships with the women in their lives, or act like immature boys rather than responsible and courageous men, the women reap the consequences. Women are to be led, cherished, and loved by men -- this is a picture of God's love! From experience, I have had many damaging relationships with men, but I have also had some very special, healthy, and uplifting relationships with Godly men. Those positive relationships with men have given me a better picture of the love God has for me and has helped [begin to] mold me into the woman God designed me to be.

So here's my question:
Ladies- are the men in your life living up to the standards of manhood? are you settling for what the world says a man is?
Men- are you living a life of immaturity and passivity, or are you taking every opportunity you have to share with the women in your life just how precious they are? are you following God's lead in how to appropriately lead the women in your life?

Men and women need each other. God designed us that way. So men, stop acting like boys.

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." - Genesis 2:18

Love Like You Mean It

Love. Such a loaded word. In today's culture, we "love" so many things that I think the word has lost some of it's value. I remember as a school-aged kid writing I :heart: ____ (insert boys name) on my hand in colorful gel pen. That certainly wasn't love, the name changed regularly, but I was being fooled by the world at an early age about love.

The phrase "I love you" is something my husband says to me several times each day. And he sincerely means it! I remember the first time Tyler said those three words. We were indulging on cheesecake under the stars when he turned to me and expressed that he loved me. My response: "Are you sure?" Poor guy. He was sure! And as we're now into our second year of marriage, he continues to pursue, woo, and love me.

The Bible tells me in several places that I am loved by the Lord: "The LORD your God...will quiet you by his love." - Zephaniah 3:17, "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you." - John 15:9, "...the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." - Galatians 2:20, "We love because he first loved us." - 1 John 4:19 and in so many other passages! I first heard about the love of God when I was a five year old girl. My neighbor, who was six or seven years old at the time, told me that if I asked Jesus to live in my heart that I would live forever. It is because of God's unending love that he desires us to be with Him in perfect relationship, for all eternity!

Last night I had an exciting and emotional "ah-ha!" moment. Before last night, I could have written the above text and meant every single word. But after last night, those words have both meaning and depth. It hit me that I am passionately loved by both my God and my husband-- in spite of my imperfections, both inside and out. What an overwhelming thing to have hit you at once! I was crying uncontrollably; one because I have been married for almost a year and a half and just now am realizing that my husband actually loves me the way he says he does --no matter what I look like or how crazy I can be-- and two because even though my heart is full of sin and my body is wasting away, God loves me! "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." - Philippians 1:6 The Lord knows I am still imperfect, but with patience, He grows me all the while, loving me. Man oh man! What a blessed lil lady I am!!

There are not words to describe just how grateful I am that my husband's love teaches me about the Lord's love.


"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
 - Ephesians 5:25

Reading List

As an elementary school aged child, my mother signed me up for the Babysitters Club Book Club. I hated to read. Reading bored me more than anything else! As a member of the Babysitters Club Book Club, the books would come by the tens or so each month. Is that a joke? The pressure I felt to read these books probably contributed to the perfectionistic tendencies I have today. I could not possibly read them all before the next batch came, so why even try? was my thought. Needless to say, that book club unfortunately ended up being a waste of money.

It wasn't until college that I began to enjoy reading. I finally found books that challenged me and seemed purposeful to read. I am grateful for the turn around in my attitude towards reading, because I realize now that books are such a valuable resource!

I am finishing up a book that has been hard not to read in one sitting. And as I finish this one, I have one lined up to read next. My list of books read and to-read got me thinking... there are so many good books out there, but often times it's hard to know if the one you pick up off the shelf at the bookstore is going to be good and worth the purchase. I have read these books over the past few years and would highly recommend them:

• Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers
• A Lineage of Grace by Francine Rivers
• Completely His: Loving Jesus Without Limits by Shannon Ethridge (and accompanying devotionals!)
• Every Woman's Battle: Discovering God's Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment by Shannon Ethridge
• Changes That Heal by Dr. Henry Cloud
• Boundaries in Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
• How People Grow by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
• Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
• The Search for Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God's Eyes by Robert S. McGee
• Wilderness Skills for Women: How to Survive Heartbreak and Other Full-Blown Meltdowns by Marian Jordan
• Sex and the City Uncovered: Exposing the Emptiness and Healing the Hurt by Marian Jordan
• Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John & Staci Eldredge
• The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert Emerson Coleman
• Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper
• Soul Print by Mark Batterson
• In A Pit With A Lion on A Snowy Day by Mark Batterson

The books on my shelf and "to-read" list:

• Radiant: Living as Light in a Dark World by Marian Jordan
• Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy by Gary Thomas
• To Be Told: God Invites You to Coauthor Your Future by Dan Alendar
• Personal Disciplemaking: A Step-By-Step Guide for Leading a New Christian From Birth to Maturity by Christopher Adsit  

What books have you recently read, enjoyed, and are worth recommending? Are there any books you have lined up to read next?

Bridge the Gap

Over the last couple weeks, I have come to a place of developing a love for snail mail. I am basically hooked on mailing things to friends and family... anything from birthday cards to "just thinking about you" notes! There is just something extra special about getting something other than coupons or bills in the mail. This means that stamps are now something I [try to] keep on hand at all times. But besides birthday cards and just for fun notes, God has led me to send out a few other things in the mail to bridge the gap....

This last week I sent out two hand written letters, asking for forgiveness from people whom I have lost contact with -- one, was my dad and the other, a former roommate. I recently read in Matthew 5:24, "First be reconciled to your brother..." and in Matthew 6:14 "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." As I searched my heart, I realized that there were things I needed to seek their forgiveness in. This was not easy for me. Why? Because I am a sinner. A prideful, selfish, sinner. And for a long time I have focused on the wrong they have done to me and looked very little on the wrong I have done to them. In MY perfect world, I would be perfect and would be the forgiver, not the one in need of forgiveness. However, the world you and I live in is fallen, imperfect, and broken. As these letters reach both my dad and former roommate, I am praying that God will move in their hearts to forgive me and respond so that our relationships can be restored! But, if I never hear back from them, I know that I can stand before the Lord, confident that I did as He asked me to.

Is there anyone in your life that you need to seek forgiveness from or forgive? Do you need to take the initiative to bridge the gap that has grown between you and someone who has wronged you?

"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." -- Matthew 5:44

Fast Forward

On occasion, I find myself daydreaming about what my tomorrows will look like.... sometimes I fast forward my life and think about how my family will grow-- will Tyler and I have children? how many children will we have? will we be able to have children of our own? will we adopt? Other times I catch myself fantasizing about where I will live in the future-- will my house be a home? what flooring will we have? how many rooms will there be? what paint colors will we choose? And, quickly, I am brought back to the reality that it is today.

"This is the day is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24). Don't get me wrong, I don't think God wants me to think only about "today" -- after all, he created me and I am a planner! But, getting caught up in a future that is already planned out for me, as if I have some sort of control over it, is simply a waste of my thought time. Sure, I have desires, but daydreaming about them won't get me anywhere-- and after all, God knows the deepest desires of my heart! He knows that I'd love twins, a home with a front porch, and a luscious yard! But, the todays leading up to my tomorrows are purposeful. "So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12). I'm trusting God that if I set my mind on things above and allow my todays to prepare my heart for my tomorrows, that not only will he bless me, but that I will find satisfaction in each day! After all, I wouldn't want to miss the treasure that God has for me in my today....

"...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, what is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." -- Philippians 4:8

Surrender All

I woke up this morning with "surrender" heavy on my heart. God was poking at my heart to surrender, to truly trust him with some things that I am constantly battling to keep in my possession. I picture myself standing before the throne of God... "...present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship." - Romans 12:1. He asks me to lay down before him and empty my hands. So, what is it that I am holding on to? Well, a variety of things. Some days I want to hold on to money or possessions, other days I want to hold on to relationships. But why?

Just as Joshua says to the Reubenites, the Gadites, and the Manasseh tribe, we are also commanded... "Only be very careful to observe the commandment and the law of Moses that the servant of the LORD commanded you, to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways and to keep his commandments and to cling to him and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul." - Joshua 22:5. When I read this, several things jump out. But keeping with the topic of surrender here, serve him with all your heart and with all your soul hits the bullseye. The keyword that sticks out is all. How can we serve God with all of our heart and soul if part of our heart and soul is commited to serving something else? We are only fooling ourselves if we think this is possible.

Holding on to money, possessions, status, or relationships is keeping the heart divided. "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other." - Matthew 6:24. Our hearts are drawn to things that pull us away from clinging to him every day! What are you holding on to that is hard to let go? Do you trust God with it?

We are left with a choice. Will we choose to embrace our brokenness and surrender or will we continue to fight with God to keep our hands full of things other than Him?

Wise Counsel

Too often, we make hasty decisions without consulting anyone. Think back on the last three major decisions you made.... Did you ask anyone for their wisdom, counsel, or prayer? Who did you ask? What was the outcome? Would the outcome be any different if you had sought out wise counsel, or counsel from someone different?

"Plans are established by counsel; by wise guidance..." - Proverbs 20:18
As Christians, we are instructed to seek out wise counsel! This often occurs out of a humble heart and a desire to earnestly seek God's will. Does this mean we allow others to make our decisions for us? Absolutely not! But as we are seeking God through His Word and prayer, we should also be talking to our mentors and fellow Christians about their thoughts. I know for me, talking through things with my mentors and other Christians is helpful because I am a verbal processor.... so even just talking out loud helps! And I find that when I think God is directing me in one way, and it is confirmed by several people, it is easier to rest in that and move forward as God is leading.

"Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." - Proverbs 11:14
"...in abundance of counselors there is victory." - Proverbs 24:6
An abundance... could sound overwhelming! However, this is important in order to avoid misleading. If what multiple, safe people are saying all line up... and more importantly, line up with what God's Word says, then you can be more certain of the counsel. If you currently only seek out wise counsel from one source, I would encourage you to check your heart and the healthiness of that relationship. Appropriate boundaries should be set in place to avoid codependency. I once heard Marian Jordan say, "If you fear someone other than the Lord, they have too high of a priority in your life." And Francis Chan once challenged a crowd I sat in with these questions, "Are you saying things your mentor told you to say? Or are you saying/doing things that are from your time with God?" Basically, listen to God first but seek out wise counsel from several healthy sources and apply the wisdom as it lines up with what God says.

"He who walks in the way that is blameless shall minister to me." - Psalm 101:6
I remember when I first read this verse. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Early in my walk with God, I would take everything and anyone any Christian said as "Truth." Even now, I am still learning the differences that Christians have views and beliefs on and sorting that out as I grow in the Lord. However, this verse is very important. When we seek out wise counsel, it should not be advice from a whole bunch of people who are not walking with God. Wise counsel should come from people who are walking closely with God, are seeking to do His will for their own lives, and want God's best for you! It is those people who should minister to you. Counsel from people who are not walking alongside God, is mere advice.


I hope this encourages you to seek out wise counsel, in conjunction with your own seeking God through His Word and prayer, the next time you make a [major] decision!