While Peighton was a newborn, and as a one car family, I found getting to campus to meet with girls very challenging. Between the scheduled need-to-gain-weight feedings for Peighton and Tyler's already concreted schedule, I was not left with much wiggle room. Monday evenings worked out for us to open our home to four girls for a discipleship group. Tyler was on bedtime duty and I was in the zone. With a love for hosting and leading young women, I found myself yearning for this two hour window each week.
Then summer came.
I anticipated being able to connect well with girls on our summer project because, after all, we were living in dorms in community, we ate as a group, we traveled as a group, etc. And then teething started. Oh good golly! Our time in Boston may have been the most cry filled three weeks of Peighton's short life. I spent so much energy trying to get her to sleep, or reach a place of contentment. And she spent so much energy letting me know she was not a happy girl.
So that is my lead into what God taught me this summer. I never saw it coming.
A handful of moments stick out in my mind as I type that word. Moments where Peighton was not doing as I had planned or expected or desired. She wasn't sleeping, she was hungry out of her "schedule," she wasn't happy in her environment, or she was crying uncontrollably and distracting both me and the group. Often times this required me to miss whatever was going on. And because I not only love motherhood but also ministry, this brought me to tears. I was missing out....or so I thought. And as I sat in my pity party one night rocking Peighton to sleep (well past her bedtime and well into the event of the evening), she gently grabbed my face with her little hand...and God simultaneously touched my heart. I will never forget that exact moment. It is when I realized how fleeting these days are. Peighton will not always want me to snuggle her to sleep. She will not always depend on me for her nutrition. And I will not always be able to be there to dry her eyes. Oh how quickly I was convicted. God met me in my dorm room that night, He spoke tenderly to my heart, and asked me to patiently endure the blessing of seasons.
Although I have tried, I cannot seem to plan out how each season and stage will look for me as I journey through motherhood + ministry over the years. But, I do know this...God is with me and He is for me. As I press into His presence, I will find not only contentment but JOY in each moment--whether in my home or on campus.