This summer, at Cru's National Staff Conference in Fort Collins, Colorado, I heard from the stage the phrase "spiritual abuse." Sounded to me like something that happened within cults or some other obscure religion, but surely not in the world I was a part of. But since I was not too familiar with this, I immediately searched the term on Google. And this is what I read that came up in my search. Prior to my search, I would have told you I had most likely not experienced any form of spiritual abuse, personally. As I read the list of 10 ways to spot spiritual abuse, a pit grew deep in my stomach.
I had in fact experienced all ten of these in my roughly ten years as a Christian. Sadly, I am not exaggerating. When I got over the personal pity party, God had room to soften my heart. Rather than choose to be angry and bitter [neither of which are Godly qualities, but that's often my natural bent], I am choosing to educate myself on the topic and seek much necessary, personal healing. I'm hoping to soon read [as soon as I finish other books I'm currently reading] Toxic Faith: Experiencing Healing From Painful Spiritual Abuse by Stephen Arterburn to both better understand and move towards healing and forgiveness, as well as gain wisdom on how to avoid finding myself in spiritually abusive situations again. Further more, I feel led to spread the news of the realities of spiritual abuse within churches and ministries, even amongst individual relationships.
As I now move towards further understanding, I hope to seek to avoid future spiritual abuse, being the cause of this type of abuse to others, and hopefully find myself equipped enough to walk alongside others who have been affected by it. And for that, I am grateful.
My encouragement to you... educate yourself. I am finding the more I know, the better equipped I am to take on life and all the messiness it entails!
A horrible and shocking thing has happened in this land-- the prophets give false prophesies, and the priests rule with an iron hand. Worse yet, my people like it that way! But what will you do when the end comes? - Jeremiah 5:30-31
Additional reading on spiritual abuse:
Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse, Part One
Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse, Part Two
Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse, Part Three
Monday, August 12, 2013
Friday, August 9, 2013
#StowellSummer2013 ... that's a wrap!
In a nutshell:
8 pieces of luggage
4 flights
3 states
3 timezones
11 temporary homes/beds (including 3 air mattresses, 12 pets => lots of Claritin, and minimal air conditioning)
COUNTLESS memories with family & MANY friends!
Where to start? Well, our summer truly began in mid-May and continued across the country, in Los Angeles, during the month of June. I wish I could concise all that I learned at Athletes in Action's Urban Project - Los Angeles about God, people, and the Gospel... but I truly cannot. It was an experience I will never forget and one that will forever influence how I view the world and those around me (for the better). And in the midst of all the learning and growth that was happening, for me personally, I got to spend the month ministering to and serving alongside 25 college students from across the country!
Then there's July. So Urban Project came to an end and Tyler and I were headed where we'd never been before... to explore California. In the planning stages of our summer we were faced with the dilemma to.... either fly back to NJ from LA for the roughly two weeks in between the end of Urban Project and the start of Cru's National Staff Conference that we'd be attending in Colorado OR stay on the west coast and fly to Colorado from there. As we looked closely at these options, it made much more [financial] sense for us to take advantage of already being in California and visiting the many friends (and family!) we have out there. So we did =) and it was awesome.
8 pieces of luggage
4 flights
3 states
3 timezones
11 temporary homes/beds (including 3 air mattresses, 12 pets => lots of Claritin, and minimal air conditioning)
COUNTLESS memories with family & MANY friends!
Where to start? Well, our summer truly began in mid-May and continued across the country, in Los Angeles, during the month of June. I wish I could concise all that I learned at Athletes in Action's Urban Project - Los Angeles about God, people, and the Gospel... but I truly cannot. It was an experience I will never forget and one that will forever influence how I view the world and those around me (for the better). And in the midst of all the learning and growth that was happening, for me personally, I got to spend the month ministering to and serving alongside 25 college students from across the country!
Then there's July. So Urban Project came to an end and Tyler and I were headed where we'd never been before... to explore California. In the planning stages of our summer we were faced with the dilemma to.... either fly back to NJ from LA for the roughly two weeks in between the end of Urban Project and the start of Cru's National Staff Conference that we'd be attending in Colorado OR stay on the west coast and fly to Colorado from there. As we looked closely at these options, it made much more [financial] sense for us to take advantage of already being in California and visiting the many friends (and family!) we have out there. So we did =) and it was awesome.
We visited and stayed with friends Brendan & Jenna in Mission Viejo and enjoyed quality time in the sunshine!
We then visited and stayed with friends in Huntington Beach. And during our visit we hiked along the Laguna Coast...
with Tommy!
And then we were off on our drive north, end destination: Sacramento.
Made a quick stop at the Rose Bowl
and enjoyed the lovely roses (well, I did).
To break up our drive, we stopped at (Rutgers Volleyball player) Ali's parents' beach house for the night and got to hear all about her time at AIA's Ultimate Training Camp!
As we drove along the coast, we spotted Elephant Seals!
And we were captivated by many many stunning views.
As we arrived for an evening in San Francisco, we then made yet another football stop at Candlestick Park.
Then we trekked over to the "Full House" house!
And finally made it to Fisherman's Wharf for dinner and a touristy visit.
We arrived in Sacramento and I got to visit with Stacy, a friend I met as a student on a Cru Summer Project in 2008!
And we got to spend quality time with my aunt, uncle, and cousin-(not pictured). It had been about 10 years since we'd spent time together (or since I'd seen my aunt and cousin)!
They took us to a gold mine...
and to see wine country!
All in all, a sweet time spent in California =) Then, we were off to Colorado for our conference.
Our first night, we stayed with one of my college roommates and her boyfriend. It was so nice to spend some time with them!
Then we spent the next ten days on campus at Colorado State University, where we heard from our organizations leadership, worshipped with our co-laborers, and encountered God. It was a wonderful time of refreshment and connection with God and friends.
To wrap up our summer, we headed south to Florida for two weeks -- and boy was it hot! I seemed to have forgotten just how hot and HUMID it is in the summertime. Nonetheless, it was a wonderful time and it went by so fast as we visited with family, friends, former AIA students at USF, and ministry partners.
A summer we'll surely never forget. Thank you to those of you who made it special =) We arrived back to our humble abode in New Jersey earlier this week. Since, we've gotten to catch up with a few friends here, kept the washer and dryer BUSY, and successfully unpacked all eight pieces of luggage! We're grateful to be back and eager to start the 2013-2014 school year with Athletes in Action at Rutgers!!
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Iced-Coffee Success
This summer I ran on the strength of God and caffeine. And in my opinion, there is nothing like an iced-coffee in the summertime! During my time in Los Angeles in June, I thoroughly enjoyed Brooklyn Water Bagels' iced-coffee.... with coffee ice cubes (genius I tell ya)! But when we returned to New Jersey this week, it was my mission to enjoy iced-coffee at home. And at my first attempt, I reached near perfection with this:
I began by brewing a full, strong pot of Archer Farms Carmel Macchiato coffee. While still hot, I added desired amount of sugar (or sweetener of choice) and a heaping spoonful of Aldi's carmel topping, stirring until dissolved. I let it cool for a bit before pouring into a pitcher and storing it in the fridge. Now, it's ready to enjoy - poured over ice and I've been adding milk to each individual serving.
I must say, I've made iced-coffee at home many times before this and I don't think I'll deter from this method. It's delicious, perfect strength, and this particular batch has a decedent flavor! In the future, I will likely be making my own coffee ice cubes, because Brooklyn Water Bagels method is pure brilliance. As my husband watched me fill the ice cube tray with water last night he suggested I fill them with coffee for my iced-coffee. A gem he is, I mean really.
Monday, July 1, 2013
The Month of June
What an insane month of June it has been for the Stowell's!
We began the month by flying across the country from Newark, New Jersey to Los Angeles, California. A long six hour flight.... However, I was finally able to see the movie Les Miserable.
The start of our Cali trip was spent in Huntington Beach for a birthday celebration for me, and just a fun getaway for us. We were blessed by a friend, able to stay at a stunning resort, and able to relax before our busy busy summer. During our stay, we got quality time together and experienced for the first time the Pacific Ocean! I was also blessed and spoiled by my sweet husband for my twenty fifth birthday! It was a memorable experience, to say the least.
From there, we headed back to Los Angeles for Athletes in Action's Urban Project - Los Angeles. There, we spent four weeks in community with AIA staff and students. It was a month full of eye opening lessons and events. I was exposed to things I'd only ever read or heard about. God worked in my life in ways I never could have dreamed. And I was stretched to levels of discomfort I had never known before, which ultimately led to growth. I can't possibly sum it up without writing a novel. The best I can do is share with you stories from throughout, written by those on the Urban Project. Without further adieu, the Urban Project blog.
One of the most impactful elements of the Urban Project for me, personally, was the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. (a 20 hour athletic competition put on by Athletes in Action as an opportunity to apply the AIA Principles). That being said, going into it, I felt more out of shape than I have in a good while. Through the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. God spoke intimately to my heart. I was reminded that I am adequate and approved, no matter my performance or ability. "Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God." - 2 Corinthians 3:5 was the Truth I clung to throughout the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. I was on a team with 4 others, all of whom were males. And poor guys... they had to put up with my crying mess throughout almost every event. But they were true gentlemen and such strong teammates! I wouldn't have traded my team or the experience for anything!!
We have now wrapped up the Urban Project with the other staff and the Stowell's have made it to Orange County. For the next week-ish, we will visit with friends before heading north, to Sacramento, to visit friends and family! The craziness of #StowellSummer2013 continues..... [follow me on Instagram (@afstowell) for photos throughout our trip!]
We began the month by flying across the country from Newark, New Jersey to Los Angeles, California. A long six hour flight.... However, I was finally able to see the movie Les Miserable.
The start of our Cali trip was spent in Huntington Beach for a birthday celebration for me, and just a fun getaway for us. We were blessed by a friend, able to stay at a stunning resort, and able to relax before our busy busy summer. During our stay, we got quality time together and experienced for the first time the Pacific Ocean! I was also blessed and spoiled by my sweet husband for my twenty fifth birthday! It was a memorable experience, to say the least.
From there, we headed back to Los Angeles for Athletes in Action's Urban Project - Los Angeles. There, we spent four weeks in community with AIA staff and students. It was a month full of eye opening lessons and events. I was exposed to things I'd only ever read or heard about. God worked in my life in ways I never could have dreamed. And I was stretched to levels of discomfort I had never known before, which ultimately led to growth. I can't possibly sum it up without writing a novel. The best I can do is share with you stories from throughout, written by those on the Urban Project. Without further adieu, the Urban Project blog.
One of the most impactful elements of the Urban Project for me, personally, was the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. (a 20 hour athletic competition put on by Athletes in Action as an opportunity to apply the AIA Principles). That being said, going into it, I felt more out of shape than I have in a good while. Through the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. God spoke intimately to my heart. I was reminded that I am adequate and approved, no matter my performance or ability. "Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God." - 2 Corinthians 3:5 was the Truth I clung to throughout the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. I was on a team with 4 others, all of whom were males. And poor guys... they had to put up with my crying mess throughout almost every event. But they were true gentlemen and such strong teammates! I wouldn't have traded my team or the experience for anything!!
We have now wrapped up the Urban Project with the other staff and the Stowell's have made it to Orange County. For the next week-ish, we will visit with friends before heading north, to Sacramento, to visit friends and family! The craziness of #StowellSummer2013 continues..... [follow me on Instagram (@afstowell) for photos throughout our trip!]
Friday, May 31, 2013
Crazy Days of May
WOW. I cannot believe May is at it's end. It seems like just yesterday the month began and I was wrapping up my regular meetings and Bible studies with student athletes on campus. But, here we are, approaching June.
May was a month of many blessings. It hit me what an incredible treat it is to live in a small state, able to travel to so many (new for us) places with ease. Growing up in Florida spoiled me in many ways. I've seen more sunsets than I can count, swam many a times in both the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean, and have owned an annual pass to Disney World. Some, if not all, of those things many people will never experience. But now, living in New Jersey, I am overwhelmed with gratefulness to have such quick and easy access to so many new adventures!
For instance, in early May, we headed to Philadelphia (a mere 65 miles from our New Jersey home) as staff team to end out the semester. It was a new experience for both Tyler and I... as we had never been to Philly. During our day there, we devoured cheesesteaks and broadened our understanding of our country's history. And let me say, we will be back. On my "Living in New Jersey Bucket List" is to attend an Eagles home game!
May was a month of many blessings. It hit me what an incredible treat it is to live in a small state, able to travel to so many (new for us) places with ease. Growing up in Florida spoiled me in many ways. I've seen more sunsets than I can count, swam many a times in both the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean, and have owned an annual pass to Disney World. Some, if not all, of those things many people will never experience. But now, living in New Jersey, I am overwhelmed with gratefulness to have such quick and easy access to so many new adventures!
For instance, in early May, we headed to Philadelphia (a mere 65 miles from our New Jersey home) as staff team to end out the semester. It was a new experience for both Tyler and I... as we had never been to Philly. During our day there, we devoured cheesesteaks and broadened our understanding of our country's history. And let me say, we will be back. On my "Living in New Jersey Bucket List" is to attend an Eagles home game!
Later in the month, my Mom visited! She had never been to New Jersey and was excited to see our new home. We gave her a well rounded tour of the surrounding areas and spent one day in New York City! She absolutely loved Princeton, and I don't blame her. In about 45 minutes, we can be in downtown Princeton-- a quaint, historic town with so much character! We also were able to visit some family history while she was here. One of our ancestors fought at a battleground here in New Jersey during the Revolution! So cool to see and experience some deep family history.
To end the month, Tyler and I hit New York City for a Walking Cupcake Tour we found on Groupon. An easy (yet exhausting) day trip. We hopped on the train and were soon walking the city enjoying sweet deliciousness. We sampled several desserts and walked new-to-us streets in New York. After the Cupcake Tour, we spent some time sightseeing -- the Empire State Building, the "Friends" apartment building, the apartment stoop used as Carrie Bradshaw's in Sex and the City, and the New York Public Library. Needless to say, it was a day of much variety!
While I was counting on May to be a time of extended rest and rejuvenation before our hectic summer of work and travels, I am glad to have gained a true appreciation for our current home and taken advantage of what our diverse country has to offer!
What do you appreciate about where you live? Get out and enjoy it!
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