While we walk through life in relationships, it is not only wise to guard our own hearts, it's important to guard the hearts of those around us. We can do this by choosing our words carefully when in conflict, by biting our tongue when we are tempted to gossip, and by doing our part in not causing others to stumble. Wait, not causing others to stumble? .... Yes. The Bible is clear about this!
"It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble." - Romans 14:21
I came across this video (which, really is audio to some pictures) that a friend posted yesterday and was deeply moved by the rawness of it. As my husband and I sat and listened to what C.J. Mahaney shared, we knew he was hitting the point, despite the rather awkwardness of the topic... especially my husband, I could see him grin every now and then when he agreed. And it warmed my heart to watch my husband so grateful to have the man's "stumbling blocks" uncovered in such a real way. With no further ado, I share with you "What Guys Think About Modesty by C.J. Mahaney"
Ladies, I hope this has opened your eyes, even just a little bit, to what our men go through moment by moment. They are faced with a very real tempation that we should seek to avoid leading them into. If this stirs anything in your heart, I encourage you to seek God and ask Him what (if any) changes you should make - outwardly (in your wardrobe) and inwardly (in your heart/attitude/motives). If not for you, do it for the sake of our men!
And I always say, "modest is hottest" - your heart is what will captive a worthy man!
"...likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control..." - 1 Timothy 2:9
While I agree with some things in the video and think the heart of trying to keep each other from sinning is good, I get nervous about blaming the lustee rather than the luster. In every Bible verse I remember about lust (and I don't know them all), the blame/focus is always put on the one who lusts, not the one who is lusted after. I know, as a guy, that it DOES NOT take just "skin" to cause me to lust. It could be any number of things, and it's literally different for every single guy. Heck, some guys seeing girls in sandals causes them to lust, others it's ugg boots. In fact, your phrase "modest is hottest" is also true for some guys, and some guys are seriously attracted to modest women and lust after them. It's ABSOLUTELY not the girls fault. It's the guys. It's sin in general. I just caution against causing women to feel guilty for "making guys lust" when they are NOT making guys lust... the guys are the ones lusting. Sure, the ladies can help us out some, and as I said, I agree with the heart of the video about keeping each other from sin. I guess I just think it's a far more complicated issue than we make it out to be.
ReplyDeleteSecondly... What can guys do to help girls from lusting? I know for a fact guys aren't the only ones who on occasion struggle with lust. Often our culture makes it seem like it's just a guy problem, like pornography, when girls deal with it to. Should we not remove our shirts at the beech? Only wear long sleeve shirts? I'm KIND OF joking asking this question, but my point is serious. It's not a gender specific issue, and if we're going down the road of helping each other out keeping each other from sinning, I'd truly honestly be interested to hear the other side.
Andrew, thanks for sharing your thoughts! I appreciate it. Here's my general response: http://steadfaststowell.blogspot.com/2013/03/guard-others-part-2.html
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